Sunday 1 October 2017

You got this. Keep going.

The 100 Day Exhibition is taking place as I write.
Putting together my entry over these last few weeks has been hugely time-consuming.  Every evening after work has been taken up with printing the images I’ve used and super-imposing the captions and quotes.  
Piecing it all together was a bit of a last minute scramble and, 
whilst not completely happy with the end result, 
the sense of accomplishment is huge.  
This is something I WILL participate in again.
It’s been a hugely emotional roller-coaster ride.  
On the way home from setting up on Saturday, 
I couldn’t halt the flood of tears that coursed down my face.
Even in her death the hound has bought SO much joy to my world.
Without realising it though my sub-conscious has been quietly 
processing the requirements for my next rambling companion.  
I hadn’t registered all this sub-limal activity that’s been taking place 
until Y and I were deworming some puppies a few weekends ago. 
It’s a litter of pups that Y is involved in the rehoming of.
They were so cute and SO cuddly!
Tripped us up at every turn and sat on our feet whenever we stood still.
But I didn’t want to take one home.
It did spark a thought process though.
And an awareness of what my sub-conscious has been processing.
I know that I want a puppy, not an older dog.
I don’t want another Labrador,
even though they’re one of my favourite breeds.
I want a boy this time.
For no other reason than that my girl was a legend.
A bum-waggling angel in a furry 4-legged body.
Beyond compare.
This next dog will be as unique as she was.
The sub-conscious is a funny old thing.
As Y and I chatted about this next dog it all came jumbling out - so effortlessly.
The type of dog.  Wether it would be a puppy or an older dog.  Even it’s gender.
I couldn’t recall having consciously MADE these decisions but, in my sub-conscious, I obviously had.  Our minds are so productive when left to their own devices. 
Knowing all this though and putting it into action are two very different things.
Whilst I know I’ve come a long way in the 5 months since her death,
 I also know I’m not ready to action the acquisition of a new pup yet.
The loss of my girl still weighs too heavily on my heart.
Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see,
 it is just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly: 
“You got this.  Keep going.” 
~ The Idealist